Do you ever feel like after you’ve met with somebody that all of your energy is gone? Sometimes you feel the need to distances yourself from others. You’re searching for empowerment through the end of a friendship relationship companionship. Whether changes in your life come from hardships, job changes, personal life changes you start feeling that some relationships feel draining, unmotivated, and need some time to recuperate after meeting with others. As domestic violence warriors (survivors) this comes up for many reasons. It comes up from not having your need met, the other person does not understand the changes in your lives both physical, mental, and spiritual. or they may not believe you or your situation. Nevertheless, these relationships end up becoming unfulfilling.
Within my situations, I use to always be the one with the initiative to plan outings. I would plan brunch, lunch, dinner, farmer market meet-ups, or just random outings. As time progressed, I’ve learned that when people don’t show up, they are not attentive to the conversation we are having or really care about being with me at the moment. The relationships start to crumble. Every time, I meet up with others my goals are to relax, have a good time and clear my mind of whatever is going on in my life. To be present, bring joy, and have friendship and companionship with others. I’m finding now, maybe because I value my time more, or I have less time with others, it has become draining and challenging. It makes me feel like friendship or relationship are not going anywhere anymore. It’s not evolving. It’s not helping me grow as a person. It does not bring in goodness. I’m not meaning to put others down but maybe as cliché, as it sounds, it’s like we’re going on different paths. These feelings amplify when we go through major changes in our lives such as leaving a domestic violence situation. Our friends and family may not understand what we have gone through, it may be difficult for you to explain it or want to explain the situation or you are really just not ready to talk about it. Whatever, the reason it the friendship, relationships, and companionship start to distance themselves.
I’ve learned within relationships, we need to be strong enough to say,” That’s OK.” We need to learn to accept that people come and go in our lives. We cannot expect everyone to stay. It may be me, it may be you. It most likely is both of the US. We have to be grown to say you are growing in your path, and I’m growing in mine. Like a calendula plant, we grow wildly in all different directions yet still growing in our own ways. We may not be in the same direction, but maybe in the future, we will meet again. Growing means we can say I love the time we had together, the memories we shared, and the lessons we learned, but we both have to let go for us to continue on our own paths.
Often people think friendship relationship companionship is a lifelong path. It’s not. It ends and starts at different moments. When we realize and accept that it may not last forever. When we start drifting away from each other, it makes it easier, making our hearts hurt less. It makes us realize anything good or bad that comes into our life is always right. They’re always lessons that we can learn. We need to build friendships relationships companionship that evolves and grows with us.
I can tell you that I only have a handful of friends. I know a lot of people and a lot of people know me. To have a that close relationship there is only a handful. I love it. I love every one of them. I know if I needed something, they would be there. I can also tell you that it has taken me a long time to get to where I am. It took analyzing why I was friends with someone, how that friendship made me feel. Who would initiate the time we had together? What would be discussing during our meetups? When it started feeling drained, I had to dig for answers. I had to understand myself, my wants and needs, and see if they fit into the friendship in the first place. I’ve come to the realization, I have developed real friends and genuine relationships. They are unique and beautiful in their crazy way. There is always room to add more but I am content with where I am today.
Now, how do relationships and friendships have anything to do with you? Ask yourself how do you take care of yourself? If you’re only ways to take care of yourself is through your physical beings? Then you are depriving yourself of your mental and spiritual wellness. When it comes to taking care of yourself it involves the type of relationships and friendships that you are involved with. How those relationships help or hinder your life. To take care of yourself look for friendships that bring meaning joy and comfort.
What to look for in a friendship relationships companionship:
Have you ever met someone and clicked so quickly. It’s that feeling that you want. You feel like you’ve known that person your whole life. Those are the type of people you want to keep in your life. There is no hidden reason why you click so fast. You just do. The best friendships are where you can say anything to each other and know that no one will get their feelings hurt. Criticism is seen as constructive. The difference is appreciated. What you are saying to benefit each other and you both see the best in each other. The friendship where you bring each other up, support each other and strive to better each other. The type of company where you know you will be there for each other no matter what. No one person is making more effort than another. Understanding that life happens and sometimes we get so busy, we don’t have the time to talk, but when that phone or text comes in, we are right there. We are not afraid that we will be bothering each other or second-guessing if we should even say anything. We could not talk for months but pick up where we left off when we start communicating again. These are the type of friendships that are long-lasting.
Empowerment through the end of a friendship relationship companionship.
- Take it day by day. Understand that you go through life by season. You are ever-evolving.
- Know what is left was never meant for you. The place that you are in your life now is different than what it was a year ago. You are growing.
- Believe things will become brighter. We need to accept and let go but also recognize and appreciate what it was.
I hope this short blog helps with understanding that you are not alone. I didn’t want to accept the ending of friendships, relationships, companionship because we go through this idea that everything is supposed to last forever. If we remember things come and go when they need to then we will realize that life has seasons, paths, and a future that we may not imagine. “What is meant for you, will reach you even if it is beneath two mountains. What isn’t meant for you, won’t reach you even if it is between your two lips.”